Chipped Polish & Wornout Jeans

The weather was beautiful yesterday, mild and clear and sunny, and its pretty much the same today. It really feels like Spring outside, and if it weren't for all the studying I have to do, I would definitely spend my time outside, taking pictures, and soaking in the beauty of it all. I hate to admit it, but this Yankee city (and this Yankee campus) is really nice right now. I know that L-ville is not exactly NYC-northern, but its definitely not the South. I had to explain what yonder means to someone today at lunch. Back on topic. I love Spring (I know I also said I love Fall and I do); it's a great season, minus all the rain and allergies. I think for me Spring represents something wonderful, and that's why I love it so much. Spring is rebirth, renewal, a ressurection; everything seems to come back to life. Flowers are in bloom, trees are beginning to green up, and the world seems to waking up from a long sleep. I think that it makes sense that Easter is at the beginning of Spring; the Resurrection of Jesus coincides with the rebirth of nature. I am trying to let this season renew me. I am trying to let it give me hope. I believe in miracles, and I believe that somethings are just meant to be. I believe that life and love can be like nature. Sometimes it takes a winter to bring about a spring. This is a really short entry, and I apologize. But there is an almost finished CivPro outline demanding to be finished.

The weather is beautiful, which means that if this gorram Yankee city wasn't so barren and dead looking I could take some really great pictures. But alas, nothing nice to photograph. I'm sure that if I really felt inspired I could come up with some artistic shots of this place. I just am not inspired by Yankee-ville, sorry to say, and I haven't got the time to go be all creative. This saddens me because I love photography, and I would love to spend some time with just my camera and my iPod. Hopefully there will be at least a little time next week during Spring Break, between the massive amount of outlining that needs to be done. I am behind on that sort of thing because of the outline, which is apparently normal according to several 2L and 3L students. Hopefully if I can just sit down and do it the outlining will not take 40 hours of my break so that I have no time to relax and breathe. I also want to do some writing and some drawing. I really want to do some creative work. I haven't got the chance to do much in the way of creativity lately because of my busy schedule.

Last week, around Wednesday night, I finally broke my glasses. I couldn't even tape them to get through the week Harry Potter style. They snapped right in half at the nose piece. That meant that, while I had intended to stay at the Shoebox and work, I had to go home to the Boro for an eye exam to get new glasses and new contacts. I really love eye exams (haha, yeah right), especially the glaucoma test where they puff air at your eyeball. It always, I mean always, takes three or four times per eye to get it right. I spent Friday working on my brief (foul creature though it is) and watching curling. Saturday morning I went for my eye exam and then had a heart attack when I saw just how much it cost me to handle my eye issues. $75 for the exam, $50 for my contacts, $52 for my frames, and $110 for my lenses. That is outrageous, not going to lie. Our insurance doesn't cover contacts and glasses, just the exam, and I forgot to mention the insurance when I did the appointment, but it's really just a big hassle anyway. That afternoon though I got to see my cousin Erica's baby, and she is such a little doll. I didn't think I was ever going to see her (family issues suck), so I was very excited to see her. She looks like her mama, right down to the big blue eyes and chubby cheeks. I failed to take pictures, mainly because she was still dealing with a slight cough and runny nose after her bought with pnuemonia and the lighting was really bad. I promise that the next time I see her I will take lots and lots of pictures.

When I got home last night I didn't intend to go grocery shopping because I was really tired, but after seeing the ridiculous parking situation going on and realizing how much I would have to do tonight, I decided to go ahead and do my shopping. Of course that means going across the river to Indiana, but its not so bad when there is no traffic. I am one of "those people" when it comes to shopping. I don't just grab the first item I see. I am that woman you see studying a cut of meat to determine whether I like the amount of fat or looking through the apples to select shiny ones that are firm and nicely colored. I am a food snob, and I think you should be conscious of what you are putting in your body. Good ingredients make good dishes, and so when I'm picking out veggies to make a tomato sauce (which I can't do in the Shoebox because I have no blender and no room) I pick out the freshest tomatoes, mushrooms, and onions, for example.  On that note, I am making a diluted version of my father's "Savage's Dear God Lasagna", which is a version of my Aunt Bessie Petrillo's delicious recipe, and so I was picking out decent pasta, cheese, ground beef, and pasta sauce (I hate sauce from the jar, but can't make my own at the moment). I hate that I cannot afford several of the needed ingredients and thus cannot make a truly good lasagna, but I will survive. It will provide me with plenty of leftovers for lunches and dinners, which is always a plus.

I am not pleased with the current weather. It was very pretty this weekend, but not its gloomy and wet and unpleasant. Boo weather, you fail. This is not really worthy of a paragraph all to it's self, but its not related to anything else either.

I am well aware of how pathetic my last posts have been. Losing someone you love makes you feel pathetic though. I think that part of my problem is that I've let the pressure of law school, the unpleasantness of being fairly isolated, and the distance (and now the loss) cause me to become something I'm not. I know that I am strong; I've always been a strong person both mentally and emotionally. I'm stubborn, willful, determined, and I never give up. I hold my own even when I'm carrying the weight of the world. I take on everything, and I don't let things knock me down. I am independant. I can get by on my own. I have always said that I can live alone and get by without having someone, but I choose not to do it. I don't want to go through life alone, but if I have to, I can. But lately I've been crumbling. I let it make me soft, pathetic, and weak, and it started long before the recent insanity. Those are not attractive qualities, and this pathetic woman I seem to be right now is not the woman that Jake fell in love with. Perhaps that was part of what caused this to happen. I am working on it though. Yes, I hope that some miracle will happen, and things will go back to the way they were, when everything was good and happy and wonderful. But I'm not going to obsess over it, not going let it destroy me. Will I just forget it? No. Will I give up completely on saving something that means so much to me? No. But I am going to "woman up". I am going dig into my well of strength and independence and manage to get through things. I am a strong independant woman, and its time for me to be that woman again. I know I can do it, and I will.

Well, I have a lot to do and need to get started before I cook dinner. I will now leave you with a fun veiw of my to-do list for the week:

It is cold, wet, and in general unpleasant outside. I had to make a run to the store earlier and then take out the trash, but I am not going back out in that mess again unless I absolutely have to do it. Instead I will spend the day relaxing on the couch, studying for Contracts, and marking my statutory supplement for the exam. The weather is supposed to be the same tomorrow, so I will definitely be spending it indoors. I wish I had more to blog about, but as it stands there is just nothing happening other than a lot of studying, peppered with some panicking, and the occassional moment of relaxation.  Let's face it, law school has made my life dull. Mostly I'm just trying to stay motivated to finish up my studies so that I can relax for a few weeks. It's not easy to get motivated lately; I'm just tired (ok, more like exhausted). At the moment I keep staring at my copy of The Lost Symbol and supressing the urge to curl up on the couch under a blanket and read it instead of  doing what needs to be done. Right now, I guess I will just leave you with this quick update and get back to work.

Good news: Today's weather was actually nice enough that since I don't have class until 2:25PM and only have one textbook (Contracts) to carry along with my bag and purse I could walk to the law school. I love being able to walk to class.

It's the first week of November, the weather here in the North is still refusing to pick a temperature, and my life is filled to the brim with things to keep me busy. I've got the Open Memo (foul creature that it is) due next Monday, which means that I have to show up early enough to turn the thing in even though my first class of the day will not be until one in the afternoon. I guess I will spend that morning in the library working on the outlines for Torts and CivPro (Also known as the land of Mordor) since those are my classes for the day. Both outlines are in bad need of an update. Speaking of outlines, I need to have all my outlines updated before next weekend, especially since I'm going to be in the Boro to judge mock trial rounds for the MTSU tournament. Nerdy though it is, I'm excited about that. Finals are in about four weeks, and it scares the crap out of me. Law School finals are not like undergrad finals. Undergrad finals are just the last chunk of your grade when you are a college student. Law School finals are your only grades when you are a law student. So I want my outlines updated and ready for typing ASAP, especially that CivPro outline. CivPro is really the only class I am having trouble in, and I can't stand it. I get so frustrated because I can go into the classroom, having read all the material and think I have an understanding of what I should know, but then the professor speaks and I am lost. I am actually terrified of that exam. Torts, I understand; Property, I get the basics and will just have to review the different rules thoroughly. Contracts, I'm not having much difficulty in despite the strange way the class tends to go.

I think I need to come up with some better responses to the question "So how is law school?" Seriously, mostly what I say is that it’s different; it keeps me busy, and it’s interesting, all of which are fairly lame answers to the question really. I love law school minus CivPro and BLS, and I love that I am learning a lot. I wish I could share some of the hilarious jokes that crop up, but they are just not as funny to people who aren't in law school or aren't going to be in law school soon. I laugh when someone says “Torts makes me want to commit assault and battery" But I'm sure people outside here will just look at me funny when I say it. Law school does make you see the world differently. Daddy (I'm Southern, so yes, I call my father Daddy) was talking about a friend he knew who was considering a law suit. After hearing the facts I spouted off promissory estoppel and why it fit. It's good that I know that, since it's important for the final, but it's strange that I can do that now. I see the legal issues in all sorts of things. I do, however, wish that people wouldn't say I'm in graduate school. Law School is not Grad School; Grad School is for wimps.

I need a new camera. (Whoa, random subject change) I've had my current one for several years, and it has been a good one. But it is beginning to show it's age and the wear and tear of thousands of pictures is starting to get to it I think. My little Samsung has seen better days, though it did serve well all summer what with the 60+ pictures I took at the zoo. It's scratched from all the times little cousins have excitedly tapped it's screen when shown pictures of themselves; it's scuffed up from all the different places it's been scooted, stashed, tucked away, and hidden. The pictures are not as clear and pretty sometimes, which saddens me, and it is often a little weak. It's gotten harder on batteries lately, and so I have to turn it off and charge them more often. I tried to take pictures of my earrings to put in the shop, and very few of them turned out well, which was a disappointment. I wound up having to let Nanny take pictures with her camera. I think that if I don't get one as a gift before then, I will save up my jewelry money and buy myself a new one. For now I will just make do, since I want to take pictures at the tournament next weekend.

Thinking of jewelry, I made five new designs for earrings last weekend; I was really happy with three of them in particular. I left them with Mama to take to work to sell, and I forgot to take pictures of them for the shop. I'm slightly disappointed because they were really awesome designs, and I wanted to see if they would sell better online than what I have now. I guess I will just have to make a few more and photograph them if Mama sells the ones she has before I get home next weekend. I've got some great ideas for necklace/earring sets that I want to try, and I've found tons of new beads for jewelry. But first I need to sell most if not all of the pieces I've made so far. I'm thinking my sales will increase when it gets closer to Christmas. (Fingers are crossed)

October has come at last and with it fall weather. I love this season because the air is crisp, the weather is clear, and in general it is just beautiful. I will probably break out the camera and take a thousand and one pictures of the leaves changing and things like that. At the moment I am sitting in my apartment, contemplating making some coffee, watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and working on my memo, which is due bright and early in the morning. The good news is that the memo is in the final editing stages, and mostly the work is just checking and rechecking the grammar and spelling and citations. The bad news is that every time I think I'm done with it I find something else I feel needs to be changed or added to the thing. I think I may give it one maybe two more reviews and then I will just save it and close it. There is only so much that I can do to make it perfect. My eyes are tired, and my head is killing me. Now none of this has to do with fall, but I felt like saying it anyway. Back to the subject of the blog.

Like I said earlier, I love this season. I love fall clothes. I love light jackets and boots with light weight sweaters. I love being able to dress warm without having to bundle up in fifteen jackets and thick sweaters. Small problem here is that I seem to have worn out my fall wardrobe over the last year or two and need a new one. Too bad I don't like to buy clothes when I'm trying to lose weight. I love the crunch of leaves under my feet. I may be a little weird, but the fact that fall brings football is not one of the reasons that I adore this season. I've never been a football fan; I just have nIever been able to get into it, no matter how hard Jacob tries to get me to watch.  I do however love Halloween and bonfires and all the beauty that the season has to offer. Fall is the best time for bonfires and gatherings like that because it's not so hot and miserable sticky that you don't want to be outside, and it's not so teeth chattering cold that you can't stay out without freezing to death. It's also some of the best weather to be curled up with someone special, which is why being in law school by myself in fall can be a drag. There are nights and weekends when I am sitting alone in my apartment typing away at a brief or highlighting cases in my books when I would really like to be snuggling up with Jacob instead.

This season does present a small problem for me. Fall and winter are the two seasons when I always gain weight; I guess it's because I eat too much and get sort of lethargic and dormant. I find myself more tired and just moving much slower. They are the seasons of treats, pies, candies, and big family meals, and my family eats a lot. I am actually making 7 pounds of fudge to be wrapped in pretty tins to take to various Christmas gatherings. I was proud of myself because I have manage to avoid the Halloween candy two or three times now while shopping, which is pretty awesome; usually I buy a bag or two to hide for later. But during fall and winter holidays I tend to nibble a lot without paying much attention to what I am doing. I begin to get busy with work in the fall, especially with exams, and when Christmas vacation rolls around I am just so very very tired that I don't want to exercise or anything. That however has to change this year. I am working way too hard to gain all the poundage back. I am slowly shrinking in the proper places already, and I am not about get fatter.